As December rolls in and 2024 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the year through the lens of one word: violence. Initially, I thought violence was merely an act of physically harming others. However, through personal experiences and societal events, I’ve come to recognize its many faces.
On a personal level,
I attended 12 therapy sessions this year, which helped me confront the violence surrounding my life for the first time. Therapy was not easy. The therapist’s deliberate silences and probing questions often left me feeling frustrated and uncomfortable. But through this process, I realized how deeply the forces suppressing my desires and emotions had infiltrated my life. For reasons I couldn’t fully understand, I had consistently suppressed my feelings and needs, leaving them unspoken. These unexpressed emotions piled up, making me feel increasingly unsettled.
The oppression I experienced might have stemmed from the actions of those around me or perhaps from internalized rules I imposed on myself. Regardless of its source, I now aim to overcome it. At the same time, I began questioning whether I might have unknowingly imposed similar violence on others. Had I silenced someone’s voice or disregarded their opinions? Violence can become so normalized that we fail to recognize its existence.
This year, societal events also brought the concept of violence into sharp focus.
The most alarming moment was former President Yoon’s declaration of martial law. Images of special forces descending on the National Assembly by helicopter, threatening citizens, and armored vehicles intimidating protestors painted a grim picture of democratic values crumbling. The military and police, meant to protect citizens, turned their weapons on the people. This left me with a deep sense of helplessness. Violence can be so easily weaponized, and when the tools meant to protect us become instruments of harm, what recourse do we have?
On the other hand, the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Robert Thompson in the United States highlighted another facet of violence. Luigi Mangione, a customer, killed the CEO in what was an extreme and indefensible act. Yet, the background of this incident revealed something more. UnitedHealthcare had a history of denying claims at a high rate, causing immense suffering to many. Decades of peaceful efforts to demand change had failed, leading to one individual’s desperate, violent act, which ultimately brought attention to a longstanding issue. This case challenges the notion that violence can always be dismissed as inherently wrong.
I remain torn.
I can neither condemn my past self for tolerating violence nor justify its use. However, one thing is clear: I no longer wish to be oppressed by violence. By the end of 2025, I hope to free myself from the remnants of violence in my life and raise my voice against the insidious forces that disrupted our society this year.
Max